After 33 years as an Army Bomb Disposal Officer - and having taken the 'Long Walk' many times, my beloved has transitioned into civilian life. His new career running an organisation which lifts mines and advocates for those wounded in mind and body by conflict has led our family finally to our own home and to some semblance of 'normal' life. This is my take on where we have been and where we are going - together.
I have just been reading a blog. Someone left a comment here and curiosity drove me to her own blog. When I say I have been reading it, I have actually been devouring it. I will never have a child of my own. There I have said it, and the sky hasn't fallen in. For more than twenty years it haunted me and drove me. I felt...less. I am....less... but I have come to terms with the less -ness (yes, I know it's not a word) and discovered that less, can indeed be pretty good. There is a point to a childless woman that for years I could not see. There is a huge well of love for others to tap in to. In my case, a lonely, widowed Mother-in-law has benefitted. Every stray cat and dog within a 20 mile radius has benefitted. My husband has a whole lot more of me than he might have had. I still would it were otherwise but I am not a pointless person when for years that is how I defined myself...silently.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment